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Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Santa Cammy

freddie wilpon was in a deep panic to fill the biggest hole in the mets roster this winter --> santa claus. having finally disposed of capo franco (it was just business, johnny, nothing personal) after his 59 year mets career, there were some serious santa boots to fill in the annual mets/wilpon christmas, good publicity, charity, suck-up-athon event that they hold for the media and some underprivileged and/or sick kids they bus in from somewhere. maybe that's not accurate, but that's not important to this story. anyway, the plan was to promote super joe mcewing from his usual elf position, but his falsetto "ho, ho, ho's" didn't cut the mustard.

freddie's kitchen cabinet alternatives are lacking this year. kris and anna benson have joined up. anna is a "ho" and they know from "clauses" but only the prenuptual kinds that deal with his cheating on her and anna screwing the team in revenge and stuff like that. tommy boy glavine is still around, but he's not in a christmas-y mood with the norfolk tides sending brother mike back on unemployment. they'll be eating cat food and government cheese in the glavine household this holiday season.

freddie looked around and his familiar white faces weren't looking back.

that's when mike cameron stepped up. cammy's a good guy, a good teammate. perhaps even a candidate to break the color barrier in the kitchen cabinet. he's been in the wilpon doghouse since his white flag surrender speech during the mets freefall last summer. you remember the "san diego took everything we had away from us. they took everything" thing. well, cammy stepped up to the plate, donning the fat red suit and white beard to help freddie save face and give a memorable day to the press and those kids they picked up somewhere. god bless you, cammy. freddie will remember this.

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