FRED WILPON IS THE DEVIL!!!!!

i give freddie a ton of grief for his inept revolving door deja vu plans -- worst team money could buy, youth movement from hell, worst team money could buy, youth movement from hell, etc. but let's face it, mets fans lap it up like eggnog on christmas. they'll buy into every plan, reverse on a dime a half-step after freddie, and buy into the latest new regurgitated plan.

so let's have a visit from the ghost of what might have been and see what everybody thinks.

humor me and go along with my notion that we were 75% or so on the way to fulfilling the last "youth movement" plan that freddie had us hypnotized with when he pulled the plug at the summer deadline. reyes was up (kinda) already. wright was up. vic diaz was starting to tear up norfolk. kazmir was healthy and in AA. peterson was in AA. joselo diaz was throwing heat at AA. humber should've been signed and already started out at AA. huber was having a solid obp year at AA. petit and milledge were already promoted to high A. petit would go onto AA before the year was up. we had this cuban cirque du soleil guy who they hyped as might be at shea in september. the mets were getting close to tasting the fruits of what we were promised after a string of miserable years with old, expensive, broken down, unmotivated crap.

could you accept letting kazmir, humber, peterson, soler, petit, etc pitch up here sometime in 2005 and letting them get their lumps like avery, smoltz and glavine did in their first year or two? the greater majority of mets fans who bought into the youth movement "plan" right up to the summer trading deadline just a short while ago, would you still have preferred that direction at this very moment, or are you so now intoxicated with the thought of buying monster contract veterans that you can honestly say this path is better?

do you honestly believe omar has a plan and full autonomy to carry it out (despite all the electoral voting facts to the contrary) and do you honestly believe freddie has the baseball mental capacity to buy a winner (despite all the years and evidence to the contrary)?

Look at me
I’m as helpless as a kitten
Up a tree
And I feel like i’m
Hanging from a cloud
I can’t understand
I get moisty
Just holding your hand

Walk my way
And a thousand violins begin to play
Or it might be the sound of your hello
This magic I hear
I get moisty
The moment you’re near

You could say that you’re leading me on
But it’s just what I want you to do
Can’t you see just how hopelessly I’m drawn
That’s why I’m following you
On my own

Would I wander through this clowntown all alone
Never knowing my right foot from my left
My bat from my glove
I get moisty
And too much in love
On my own

Would I wander through this clowntown all alone
Never knowing my right foot from my left
My bat and my glove
I get moisty
And too much in love

Look at me

the wilpon corollary: the more money you spend, the bigger your last place screw up

the freddie principle: in the mets hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence

wilpon's razor: when multiple explanations exist for an ownership blunder, blame and fire the hitting coach, manager and gm (in that order)

wilpon's law: whatever bad can happen to the mets, will happen

floyd's law: nobody gets healthier playing for the mets

piazza's law: the slippery slope stops for no one

the jose reyes principle: delusional hype can be maintained indefinitely as long as the player doesn't actually play

the pedro principle (created by mike piazza, reiterated by nelson de la rosa): all the money in the world can't buy you class

hot damn! there goes a solid year or two of moisty alou jokes for me. friggin' moisty had to go and sign a 2 year deal with SF. well, that reunites moisty with daddy felipe, and now he can go pee on barry bonds's shrinking body, now that barry has to go cold turkey on the cream and the clear.

goddamn, this really bums me out. i can't even get psyched about the andres galarraga rumors. he's old as petrified shit, but it's not cool to make fun of a good guy, cancer survivor like him.

the dodgers pulled the plug on the 3-way randy johnson-to-the-yanks deal, but also reportedly signed jd drew, pending a physical. i've been stewing my brain, trying to figure out a way for the mets to get involved in the convoluted mess to deliver the big unit to the bronx. all that's required to get involved is a bunch of players and salaries you want to unload on somebody, and the mets always have that. the mind spins with names: mikey, cliffy, tommy, kazuo... how can we get this to work?

the mets send mike piazza and kaz matsui to the dodgers. (dodgers move kent to 3B, plant kaz at 2B. mets sign alex cora for 2B)

dodgers send shawn green and brad penny to arizona, kaz ishii to the yanks .

arizona sends randy johnson to the yanks, shea hillenbrand to the mets.

the yanks send javier vazquez, felix rodriguez and dioner navarro to the mets.

how's that? the mets pick up a guy named shea and 4 more latinos.

the reds were going to try out kearns at 3B (a recipe for disaster) in spring training, but they just signed joe randa. so kearns is back in the overcrowded cincinnati outfield. minayacal omar should roll the dice and throw pitching at them to steal this studly-talented kid on the cheap. he's been waylaid with injuries, but young talent like this isn't put in the bargain bin too often. this would be like turning the clock back and having a chance to steal a damaged beltre on the cheap from the dodgers doghouse two years ago. the reds will definitely be listening if omar picks up the phone. throw heilman + seo. throw zamboozled. i could swallow the kazmir deal a lot better if we wound up with kearns.

a couple days after playing santa at the annual wilpon xmas-athon, cammy had arthroscopic surgery on his wrist and may miss up to a month of the 2005 season (a month in mets injury time is actually 3 months in human time).

can we call it the curse of franco? since capo johnny and the mets have called it kaput, the mets have tried out fat matt galante as santa (with tommy boy glavine as the elf), and he's since been summarily dismissed by the mets. now the whammy strikes cammy. who the hell wants to wear that red suit next year? do so at your own risk.

i guess here's something we'll never see.

pedro just keeps burning those bridges. the daily news has reported that pedro's "good luck charm" is now mighty pissed off at him.

A big snub by the Mets' new ace toward his little sidekick has left 28-inch-tall Nelson de la Rosa steaming-mad - and vowing to stick with the Boston Red Sox rather than turn into a Mini-Met.

"He broke my heart," de la Rosa told the Daily News yesterday. "That's not right what he said about me."

At his introductory press conference last week, Martinez laughed off the Dominican dwarf's role as a good-luck charm during Boston's curse-breaking World Series run, saying, "That was just a trick."

Then he really set off his little buddy by scooping up a midget who showed up to blast de la Rosa as a "palm-sized pipsqueak."

the baseball blogs today are doing their damnedest to come up with clever "tender" puns and catchphrases to celebrate the non-tender deadline which unleashes even more free agents on the world.

on the mets front, the mets inked vance wilson, let orber moreno and scott strickland go, and moved a step closer to locking up victor zamboozled through arbitration. interesting non-tenders include wade miller, david eckstein, alex cora, former top catching prospect - ben davis, the lefty arm we lost in the rule V draft last year - lenny dinardo, scott shoeneweiss, former mets #1 draft pick - billy traber, and josh phelps. miller will probably have a ton of interest. he's coming off a rotator cuff shortened season, but is still young and has great stuff. the astros must be certain clemens is returning next year.

rumors continue to swirl on the mets having signed moisty alou, though nothing official has been admitted.

supposedly, there's local venezuelan word that andres galarraga has been signed. the bizarre is always expected with the mets, so i can't even laugh this one off. it might very well be true.

just to remind everyone that steroids isn't just about transforming your body into a comic book superhero and putting up ruthian numbers, here's a sad tale about a dead kid: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2004/12/19/MNG14AEB7S1.DTL

numerous blogs are saying the toronto star is reporting (though i can't find the original source on the star website) the devil rays are shopping aubrey huff. huff is always a favorite target for mets fans, as he falls into the "good player on cheap, lousy team" category that mets fans always target. wonder if the tampa would be willing to take back victor "you've been" zamboozled for huff?

the chicago sun-times is saying not only that the dreaded "shammy to mets" deal isn't dead yet, but the boston red sox (!?) are in hot pursuit of delgado. the red sox already have 2 first basemen (millar & mientkewhatever) the mets should be coveting, so they're going for the hat trick, i guess. the article goes on to say that if boston gets delgado, the mets-sosa thing might become a reality.

also... speaking of reality, moisty the met seems to be happening.

imagine we could go back in time to when steve phillips had the wetness for a damaged red sox free agent named cliff floyd. back then, rookie gm theo epstein made, what might have been, a crucial blunder in offering the busted floyd arbitration. having no serious offers, floyd was expected to return to boston for somewhere in the $8-10m neighborhood. then the mets came in like knights in shining armor to rescue boston by handing broken floyd a guaranteed 4 year contract.

boston spent that $10m in a different direction as that winter, picking up some high obp guys like mueller, ortiz, todd walker and jeremy giambi.

now let's fast forward to last week when theo and omar nearly had a manny + cash for cliffy deal in place. omar shocked and disgusted red sox officials by demanding to change the deal at the last moment, asking for $12m instead of $2m to offset manny's contract.

it's mighty strange any chump change $2m cash would be even tentatively agreed to. hell, $12m is chump change, in light of how much manny is guaranteed for the next 4 years, but nevermind that for now. it's been made public that theo was earmarking the saved manny money for a contract offer to jd drew, another obp machine, in the $10m/yr area.

now, the mets already saved theo's ass once, and were instrumental in helping him create a championship team. maybe theo's returned the favor here by giving the mets a wide peek into his current off-season playbook? does omar pay attention and say "hmm, what about jd?" or does he continue with this scammin' shammy and moisty alou shit? well, i've never said omar is a smart man.