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Friday, March 11, 2005

Zamboozled



it's annual rite of spring training for the mets to get the snot kicked out of them by the dodgers, so i'm not concerned about the latest 16-5 whacking. one thing that does concern me, though, is the continued ineptness of victor "10 minute fix-it" zamboozled. as if you didn't know, zamboozled was the damaged piece of shit the mets picked up last year for their spectacular playoff run in reverse. oh yeah, had to give up scott kazmir, too.

zamboozled is another of the "great stuff" throwers who can't pitch consistently to save his life. much is made of his winning record with the devil rays, but that doesn't hide the fact that he's been a physical wreck and he has no control. he led the AL in walks, wild pitches and hit batters in his last full season. that's the triple crown of cluelessness.

after hearing how his elbow is 100% now and how his ankle is 100% now, this guy is already slotted as an allegedly solid guy in an allegedly solid rotation. piece of crap guy like this has to impress in spring training, not just go through the motions and get his work in like pedro. he sucks, he's always sucked, and he better stop sucking soon.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Cammy cools off



after steaming about it for a couple months or so, mike cameron has finally concluded he wants to remain a met. his agent has begged minayacal omar to stop fielding offers for him, so he can concentrate on recovering and playing.

apparently, omar didn't have the heart to tell cammy and his agent that there were zero attractive offers made, and cammy's value on the free market is somewhere between randy winn and a game worn jock strap.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Lay off the wacky weed, Cliffy



remember when cliff floyd had hops? neither do i, but once upon a time he was a heralded 5-tool blue chip prospect with the expos. in the annual rite of spring training, when the aches aren't so achy yet, perma-damaged damaged players like cliffy start talking big, pretending they are what they once were.

cliff's talking big in early march about stealing 25 bases this year. easy there, dog. first things first. let's concentrate on playing 25 games this year without a strain, sprain, deep bruise, pull and, or fracture. i know you're anxious to turn around your negative big mouth image by doing the positive big mouth routine. that's fine. this team needs all the cheerleaders it can find, but let's keep it real, too.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

The Strawman Returneth



i don't care how much you hate darryl's guts for jumping ship to the dodgers or fucking up his career or winding up winning rings with the yankees and being employed by george, you gotta admit it feels good to see the man all happy and in a mets uniform again. thank god the mets switched away from their orange spring training uni's this year. that would've been too much like the strawman's last uniform in the penitentiary.

darryl's been understandably nostalgic with the press the past week. he's been thinking what we've all thought for so long, that he could've been so much better, done so much more here.



another magazine cover. the "free-agent signings" part is correct. so is the "rookie manager." don't know where the "sky-high expectations" thing is coming from though. honestly, everyone is so whipped by the mo, burnie, alomar, cedeno, etc beatdown era and nasty aftermath, that you'd have to travel far and wide to find any baseball "expert" out there that has sky-high expectations for the 2005 mets. what's sky-high? predicting 3rd place "if everything goes right?" that's about it.

most sane mets fans i know (including myself) aren't ready to reserve playoff tickets, either.

THIS TIME, there's a lot more hope than hype for the mets. as it should be.

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