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Tuesday, February 08, 2005


the steroids issue has reared its ugly head in major league baseball with jose canseco naming names in his new book. i didn't see any shocking names mentioned: giambi, mcgwire, pudge, juan gone. somebody write a book about jason tyner on steroids and you'll have yourself a story to tell .

unfortunately with MLB shamefully ignoring the steroids issue for so long, the only way we'll be able to see if our suspicions over past player juice-use hold any water is to follow along with them as they enter the stricter testing stage of their careers and beyond.

you know it's been a long time in between the deaths of lyle alzado and now ken caminiti. you'd think there would be a slew of big sports stars being hooked to organ machines or dropping dead. maybe we're still expecting the other shoe to drop for these cheating stars. they may cheat serious health woes and death for awhile, but one certain thing to watch for is "shrinkage." on the juice, they have nutbag shrinkage. off the juice, they'll just have overall deflating body shrinkage. jason giambi has shrunken nearly back to "normal." sammy sosa has shrunk. mark mcgwire (if you ever see him) is apparently a shadow of his former comic book superhero self.

it used to be baseball players just got fat after they retired like don zimmer and tommy lasorda and matt galante. the new thing will be extreme shrinkage. a whole generation of guys will look like jason tyner when at cooperstown to give their induction speeches.

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