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Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Anna Benson is fuming

word on the street is anna benson, the ample wife of mets disabled underachiever, kris benson, was seen throwing a hissy fit after being informed UPN will be airing a britney spears reality show.

witnesses say anna benson was in a mid-town carvel's store screaming "what does that skank have that i don't have?!" while downing a fudgie the whale cake.

benson claims to have been in active negotiations with UPN after pitching her own reality show to them six months ago. however, dawn ostroff, the president of UPN denies there was any negotiations with benson. "i don't know who anna benson is. some crazy lady has been offering herself to the security guard and elevator man, trying to get upstairs into our office. we've called the police several times. is that anna benson?"

apparently, mrs benson is no stranger to the police. our anonymous spring training source tell us there was an altercation at a panda's express in st lucie a couple weeks ago. "the bensons were there. only anna was eating. she had a gigantic platter of orange chicken and kung pao shrimp while her husband and the kids were sitting separately sharing a cup of ice water," says the source. "suddenly, kris benson reached over to his wife's plate and tried to get a piece of orange chicken. anna benson went berserk and stabbed him in the pectoral muscle with a plastic fork."

anna benson in happier times, modelling her fashion line of breathable burlap bags at shea stadium.

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